The Lord always tends to have a theme for each of my semesters at Bible College. Trust was my first, love was my second, (and then I went from Murrieta up to Seattle for my last two semesters) redemption claimed my third and sanctification would definitely have to be the main focus on my final semester. My eyes were opened last semester in the fact that I was living by works and not my faith. So now comes the purification of what I made a mess of for so many years. The book of Romans has been playing a huge part in this refining role. I realized how I had been modeling the Jews in boasting in the law, and then when I fell short, like we all do, I couldn’t allow myself to receive Christ’s forgiveness. What an incredible sensation it is to finally realize after 22 years of being a Christian that you are wretched and will never measure up to God’s standards. And how beautiful it is that Christ, in all His glory, died for me when I was in the midst of my sin. It is not at all by anything I do; when I am unrighteous, He remains righteous. There is so much security in that! In my weakness, He truly is strong and will always be strong! Now with that being understood I can take the step forward in dying to the law and living for God, for I am being crucified with Christ. I am in the process of being refined by the fire and it burns, but it is so good! (Only someone with hope in Jesus can say a sentence like that and it doesn’t sound like an oxymoron.)
I am learning to be obedient to God, for my passions and greatest desires are being pierced with Him on that cross. What was once my own life is now becoming God’s. This is extremely difficult for me as I absolutely love being in control and planning out my life. But when these struggles intensify I think of something Corrie ten Boom quotes in her book Tramp for the Lord; “Obedience is easy when you know you are being guided by a God who never makes mistakes.” Oh! If only we all had that mindset! She also writes a few lines down “…Obedience never says “yes but…” rather it always says “yes Lord!” What truth that women has instilled in her mind. The Lord is working on me to truly live out my crucified life. It’s one thing to claim it but a whole other to show it. He has called me to do great things, but it’s up to me to walk in what He has called me to do. Many times it’s blind and trying. But I have to simply trust that He is good and doing all things to work together for His good, love Him and others along the way of the journey, recognize that I am redeemed by His blood, and allow Him to sanctify me knowing that it is going to be so worth it all in the end.
