I have been musing on friendship very much in the past months and have realized that you cannot compare or try to have duplicates in friendship. Each person is unique, and that makes each friendship unique. Each individual’s circumstances and growth process and woundedness make a one of a kind friendship. We cannot expect to have in all friendships what we have in one friendship. David and Jonathan's great friendship has components that can inspire us and encourage us.
Jonathan & David learned this by painful circumstances. Jonathan seemed to have this in perfect balance. His situation put him in an incredible place of tension. His father and his soul friend were at odds, well more than that his father wanted to murder his best friend. Yet Jonathan maintains a courageous position. He loves them both and keeps both relationships. This might appear to many of us that he didn't really love David because we have such an all or nothing view of life now. One of my friends had read a book that said when difficulties come we either fight or flight, but we need to find the 'courageous in-between'. I believe Jonathan lived in that place. He did that by putting aside himself.
Our human friendship has limits. There are places that the most devoted gift of a friend cannot go to with you because God wants to be the Friend that fills that hole or teaches that lesson. At the end of the day, He truly is who we stand with. He gifted us with the relationship of friendship, but our human friend can never be our Savior
We can recognize Jesus in Jonathan. He was a warrior, a leader, a prince to inherit the throne He is a friend, and a good one at that. When he has been asked by his father to kill his best friend, he warns his best friend. "Saul my father is seeking to put you to death. Now therefore, please be on guard in the morning, and stay in a secret place and hide yourself (19:2)." Part of being a devoted friend is being a person that warns our friends of danger coming in their lives. This isn't always actual physical danger. Jesus was constantly warning people of what was to come from their hearts being corrupted. When a friend warns us, or even Jesus for that matter, we often have a very prideful response and think that they just want to be a know-it-all, or they want to keep us from something really enjoyable…they must be jealous…they might be, OR they might just love us. Jonathan loved David, and warning him was one of the ways he displayed this love.
Another great quality of Jonathans is that he defends his friend David. Jonathan reminded Saul of the character of David, of what he had done not only for him but for all of Israel. Sometimes in a conflict we need to remember who the other person really is instead of focusing on yourself and your own pain. Jonathan could have chosen to 'vent' about how hard it is to be stuck in this position between his friend and his crazy dad, and how he isn't receiving the throne like he was supposed to and on and on and on like some of us do, yet he put aside personal desires and comforts so someone else could live.
When Jonathan realizes that David is in despair, he simply says, “Whatever you say, I will do for you. This is a servant’s heart. A servant thinks only of the person they are serving. We need the heart of Jesus to do this. He served His Father to save us. Jonathan served David to save him. In all of this I want to challenge you to look at the kind of friendship you offer to your friends. Is it like Jonathan's, like Jesus', or is it centered on only what your friends can do for you. When they let you down, do you respond in grace or in judgment? Is it all about you? Are you looking to warn, defend, intercede for, protect, and serve your friends? If you are convicted by the Lord that you are not, this is good. You can't let him make something new if you don't know that it is broken. So now repent and let him grow you into a Jonathan/Jesus sort of friend.
